British PM hosts Overlord Trump for one-way trade deal
Keir Starmer, British Prime minister and fawning yes-man, hosted President Trump at 10 Downing Street recently. The PM greeted Trump on the steps of the iconic building before a thronging press, and keen to impress his guest, Starmer immediately dropped to his and hands and knees and groveled abjectly.
Although unusual for the leader of a once-proud nation to greet dignitaries in such humiliating fashion, the PM is keenly averse to upsetting his master.
While kissing the President’s shoes, Starmer announced to the press ‘We, the United Kingdom, and the US enjoy a VERY special relationship!’.
Trump, already exhausted following a merciless whipping of President Macron in Paris earlier that day, was keen to proceed with business, namely the much vaunted UK-US trade deal.
Trump and Starmer proceeded with the usual formalities, Starmer yapping on all fours while the President, wearing rubber gloves, flung bits of raw chicken at him.
‘This is American chicken folks’, he announced to the gathered crowd of journos. ‘It is the best chicken the world has ever seen! These chickens have more legs, wings and heads than anywhere on the planet, and probably in the Universe. You here in the UK will be eating a lot of them from now on!’, he declared triumphantly.
‘Well, we will need to work out the details of the trade agreement’, Starmer mumbled tremulously. This drew a stunned silence from the press and a steely glare from Trump. The President turned slowly towards Starmer, winding a Sunday edition of the Washington Post tightly, and then began to rain down a succession of withering blows on the yelping Starmer.
The meet-and-greet drew to an abrupt close with the pitiful PM, bleating ‘Please sir, can I have another’, dragged into the hallowed halls of 10 Downing Street by the US security detail .
We will provide an update as more details become available.
