Trump Adopts NATO Head, Mark Rutte

Today Donald Trump, president of the United States, confirmed that the adoption of NATO Secretary General Mark Rutte has been finalized. When asked to comment on the revelation, Mr. Rutte-Trump gushed ‘I have been the Prime Minister of the Netherlands and Secretary General of the most powerful military alliance on Earth, but nothing gives me greater joy and fulfilment than to be called Donald Trump’s son!’.

The development has come as a surprise to many in the international community, though commentators noted how Rutte made a Freudian Slip at several international press conferences recently by calling Trump ‘Daddy’.

Upon revealing the new relationship, Rutte-Trump said the two had met clandestinely many times over the past 12 months. ‘President Trump brought me to the park and bought me ice-creams. He swung me around by my arms until I soiled my nappy! After he changed me, we rolled around in the long grass and after that he took me to watch all the Toy Story movies’, he recollected with a whimsical smile.

‘He also told me he prefers me to his stupid other sons, Don Jr. and Eric, who he calls ‘morons’. Which is true!’ Rutte-Trump declared triumphantly. ‘I then asked him if would be my Daddy for real, and he said ‘sure, son! That’ll be $1 million plus tax’.

Don Jr. and Eric Trump could not be reached for comment.

“He also told me he prefers me to his stupid other sons, Don Jr. and Eric, who he calls ‘morons’. Which is true!”