US President Trump grows special group dedicated to developing Nouvaeu Peace
The Bored of Peace, humorously nicknamed the Board of Peace, was recently launched by Charmain for Life, Donald Trump. It gathers many of the world’s leading psychopaths, including Tony Blair, Vladimir Putin and Benjamin Netanyahu to name a few, to discuss matters on population size management, indefinite resource borrowing, map-boundary recalibration and human-rights straightening.
Junior members such as Hungary’s Orbán – who’s leadership has not yet directly resulted in war crimes – will have to sit at the ‘little table’.
Newest member Benjamin Netanyahu, internationally renowned demolition expert and sometimes PM of Israel, has been most exuberant in his praise of Trump’s leadership. ‘Although I understand the United States President’s expressed insecurities in acting as chairman, given his low body count, I reassured him that carpet bombing Greenland would be a great way to ‘get the monkey off his back’, so to speak. ”Stop kvetching, you’ll hit 10,000 without even trying!’ I told him’, he chuckled to the gathered press.
Netanyahu, a veteran of indiscriminate bombing, is well respected within the current cadre and is seen as more of a moderate. Less a provocateur than his peers, his ruthless ethnic cleansing was instead provoked by a notorious attack by terrorists on October 7th 2023, when Hamas massacred hundreds of Israeli settlers.
Trump announced that he ‘would have loved to invite Hamas to the group, they were total sociopaths let me tell you, but they’re all dead’. ‘Ben, where are you, Ben? There he is! Ha, you can’t miss the dark circles around the eyes! Ben killed them all and had them stuffed and mounted!. He’s such a great guy!’ Trump said smiling.
The Daily Ferret will update this story once more members are announced.
